Sweet Love Of Mine
by tempus-fugit
Summary: Love Always Appears When You Least Expect It.....


Sweet Love Of Mine

This is a song fic, based upon the excellent song 'Sweet Child O' Mine' by Guns and Roses, the lyrics have been changed to make it applicable to the story. The lyrics are at the end of the fic.

This is done simply for fun, so please don't sue.

Squall Leonhart sat down in his large comfortable chair in his dorm room and reached for his guitar, the only source of solace for him when times got tough and things became unbearable.

With almost reverence he plucked at a few of the strings sounding the pure notes around the room, the sounds echoing slightly off the bare walls. The notes had no structure, no tune but they were filled with the passion of the man playing it and that was enough to almost bring tears to the eyes of anyone that heard them. But no one did, he was alone.

And the fact that Squall now realised that he was in love made his passion all the harder to contain. He was madly in love with the one person he knew that he could never have. Zell.

He's got a smile that seems to me 

_Reminds me of childhood memories_

Where everything was as fresh as a bright blue sky 

Squall and Zell had grown up and grown apart together. A small tear traced its way down Squall's perfect, beautiful features as he thought about every moment that Zell and himself had spent together. The times that they had fought together and the times that Squall had tried to keep his growing attraction to the young man a secret.

But now he couldn't conceal how he felt anymore. After all that they had been through together, saving the world and discovering parts of each other that had been long hidden and forgotten.

Every part except the one that Squall kept as secret as possible. Yet as he sat there, sounding out the mournful notes into his room he decided that he could hide it no longer, he had to tell Zell how he felt. If he didn't it would kill him from the inside out.

Setting down his guitar Squall stood up, his face determined and his posture fixed. It was time to tell Zell, he couldn't stand it any more.

Opening his dorm door Squall stepped out into the corridor, a cold breeze hitting his face and causing his hair to flutter. Instantly questions rose into his mind.

What if Zell didn't feel the same way?

What would happen to his relationship with his friends when they found out he was gay?

With a small shake of his head Squall soldered on bravely, passing dorm rooms and corridors on each side of him, his eyes and his mind focused on his goal, Zell and his location, the cafeteria.

_Now and then when I see his face_

_He takes me away to that special place_

_And if I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry_

_Oh sweet child of mine_

_Oh sweet love of mine_

Squall finally made his way to the cafeteria and as he stepped in he was almost overwhelmed by the sounds, the smells and the people that were inside the small space. For a moment, he thought and he felt that this wasn't right that something was wrong. Yet again he overcame his feelings. He'd been doing it for years and so today was no different.

It may be no different at the moment, but Squall vowed that he would make this day stand out.

Looking around the large cafeteria Squall's eyes became drawn to the smaller man who was surrounded by their friends. Each one was smiling and laughing as the blonde man spun an almost invisible web of attraction around him and all those near him.

Squall was no different; he was well and truly lost to Zell and would do anything for him and so, he walked over to the object of his affections with all the grace and poise of the hero that he was. The hero that was enslaved to the beautiful blonde warrior.

_He's got eyes of the bluest skies_

_As if they thought of rain_

I'd hate to look into those eyes 

_And see an ounce of pain_

Zell's head turned as Squall approached the table, and their eyes met. For a brief second Squall was lost in the sparkling eyes of the young man, the man that he loved. Seeing all the emotions flickering behind those sapphire eyes only spurred on Squall's devotion, but he wouldn't, couldn't, show himself for what he was here in public, it would have to be private. But where?

The answer struck him. The Quad, it'd be quiet now no one could overhear them.

A chorus of "Heya Squall" and "Squall, what's up?" greeted him as he got to the table. If they thought they'd get a response, they were mistaken; Squall only had eyes for one man there.

"Zell, can I talk with you in private please?"

The look on Zell's face was a little confused and the expressions of the others around the table, Irvine, Selphie and Quistis were equally perturbed.

"Sure Squall, what's up? New mission?" was Zell's hesitant reply.

"Not exactly, perhaps we could talk in the quad?"

"Erm…ok, whatever you say,' Zell stood up from the table and from his friends, striding over to match the pace that Squall had set. With a casual look over his shoulder he smirked, 'Duty calls guys, back later."

Those last few words sent shivers right down Squall's spine as they left the cafeteria and all the blood rushed from his head down to his crotch. He picked up his pace, eager to get his confession over with.

Squall remain stoic at all attempts Zell made to start up a conversation as they made their way through the corridors of Balamb Garden, with every student looking at them both with unbridled curiosity. What could two of the heroes be doing now? And other such questions flashed through their minds.

'Well,' thought Squall, 'no matter what happens, they'll have something to talk about tomorrow.' He was entirely focused on what was to happen now, in the next few moments, nothing else mattered. Not now.

As Squall and Zell entered the Quad their footsteps echoed around the secluded area. A storm had just passed and the plants were coated with a fine sheen of water that made them glisten in the twilight.

"Squall, what's goin' on? Even you're not usually this secret or quiet. Is it a mission or…."

"Zell I…' Squall cut him off and then stammered, yet another first in his life, as he tried to find words to express what he wanted so desperately to say.

Seeing the distress in his best friend's eyes Zell walked over to Squall, placed his hands on the taller mans shoulders and forced Squall to look at him.

"Squall, whatever it is, whatever's the matter you know I'll always listen…"

But before Zell could say anything more he was cut off by Squall pressing his lips against his.

_His hair reminds me of a warm safe place_

_Where as a child id lie_

_And pray for the thunder and the rain_

_To quietly pass me by_

For Squall it was the culmination of a years crush and a lifetimes friendship that, until recently, he had forgotten. Zell tasted like strawberries and cream, like perfection it's self. Squall gently tried to enter Zell's mouth but was met with resistance. Squall was savouring Zell like he would a fine wine, but Zell was just not reacting.

Squall pulled away from Zell and looked at the blonde man in front of him. He expected, he wanted for Zell to lean forward and kiss him back, but when Squall opened his eyes and sapphire blue met stormy grey, Squall instantly knew that he was wrong.

Framed against the glistening plants and the dwindling light of the duck Zell had never looked more beautiful to Squall, but his expression was one of quiet shock.

"Squall, I…" Zell began, but before he could get any further Squall, unable to face Zell, walked out of the quad leaving his beautiful blonde angel behind.

Later on that evening, after much wandering and thinking. Squall found himself back in his dorm room, only this time trying to keep his mind on what he was going to do now. There was no doubt that his secret was out. The first thing Zell would have done would have been to tell everyone what had happened. From there it would get around the entire faculty and from there into the student body.

Parents would start withdrawing their children from Garden, after all who'd want to be serving as SeeD under a headmaster that's a fag.

A small corner of his mind recognised that he was going over the top, but that part was in a minority and was shouted down by the rest of his mind.

Squall was pulled out of his reverie by the bell on his door. 'Great,' he thought, 'probably Quistis demanding my resignation already.' Reluctantly Squall went to the door, trying to mentally prepare himself for the worst.

But when he opened the door it wasn't Quistis that greeted him, nor a faculty member demanding his resignation, it was Zell.

_Whoa oh oh sweet child of mine_

Oh oh oh oh sweet love of mine 

"Squall…can I…Can I come in?" Asked Zell tentatively.

Still in a state of shock, but not allowing it to show on his face Squall simply stepped aside, allowing Zell inside.

All SeeD dorms were just functional as a rule, very few personal touches were allowed and apart from a few personal objects, Squall's was no exception. Small, cramped and plain.

Both men faced each other in the small hallway. For the second time that day stormy grey eyes met crystal blue and again Squall felt drawn to the beauty that was Zell.

"I don't know what to say Squall,' began Zell, 'I never thought that you were, well, gay. And I wouldn't have even guessed that you…felt that way about me."

"How could I not?' Squall replied, softly, 'you helped being me out of myself. You are smart, sexy and strong. Not to mention beautiful."

Zell went bright red at Squall's words.

"I'm sorry Squall, really I am, but…I'm not gay. You're my best friend, but I'm seeing Sarah, you know, the library girl?"

Squall simply nodded. His hopes and dreams disappearing slowly.

"You know, there are quite a few gay guys in Garden, would you like me to see if I can set you up?"

This time Squall blushed, unsure of what to say. Thankfully Zell stepped in for him, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Ok, you don't want to come out, that's cool, but we're your friends Squall, we may be a bit wacky at times, but we fought with you and by you. You can trust us,' Zell glanced at his watch, 'shit. I gotta go, I'm meeting Sarah in a bit. We're meetin up tomorrow for lunch in Balamb, if you want to come?"

Again, Squall nodded, touched by the kindness of his best friend, realising for the first time that a relationship with him was impossible. His blonde angel would be forever beyond his reach.

"Cool, 1:00 by the clock in the centre. See you later" And with a final hug, nothing more than a fraternal gesture, Zell left Squall, alone again.

For the second time that day, feeling utterly dejected, but at the same time with a vague sense of hope, Squall sat down in his chair and reached for his guitar, getting ready to let out his frustration in one of the few ways he knew how.

Unfortunately before he could start, the buzzer on his door sounded again. With a confused look on his face Squall made his way to the door, wondering who it could be. The curfew was still a few hours away yet.

Opening the door Squall was surprised to see Irvine stood there, leaning casually against the doorframe.

"Heya Squall, what's happenin'?" Irvine asked, tipping his hat in recognition.

"What's up Irvine?" Squall replied, curious as to the cowboys reasons for being at his room.

"We need to talk Squall." Irvine's tone had lost all it's usual humour and now it was clear something was going on.

"About what?" inquired Squall.

"About what happened today…in the quad."

Squall almost literally went white as soon as Irvine said those words. Could it be that Irvine was about to out him? Did Irvine want his job as commander? What was going on?

"You'd better come inside."

Squall walked ahead of Irvine, showing him into the rooms small lounge area.

"I saw what happened with you and Zell earlier,' Irvine began, 'I followed because I was curious, I thought maybe Zell had gotten himself into trouble or something. I saw that wasn't the case."

Squall simply stood there, facing the taller man, looking into his chocolate eyes, hearing him out.

"Do you know what it's like to care for a person for so long and so much that it rips you up inside?' Irvine asked, his tone soft and wistful, 'to never understand what you feel and even when you know, you don't know how to act on it?"

Stunned into silence Squall simply nodded. Irvine had a crush on Zell as well!

Rather than responding verbally Irvine pressed his lips against Squall's and kissed him deeply, gently teasing him. And to Squall's surprise, he even started kissing Irvine back. If Zell was perfection, then Irvine was nothing less than paradise.

Gently the two men fell back onto Squalls sofa, not breaking contact, each one engrossed with the other, determined to get as close as possible.

_Whoa oh oh sweet child of mine_

Oh oh oh oh sweet love of mine 

Pulling apart Irvine looked Squall in the eyes, stroked the other man's high cheekbones with the back of his hand and said words that Squall never knew he'd been waiting to hear.

"Sweet love of mine Squall."

Original Guns And Roses Lyrics.

She's got a smile that seems to me 

_Reminds me of childhood memories_

Where everything was as fresh as a bright blue sky 

_Now and then when I see her face_

_She takes me away to that special place_

_And if I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry_

_Oh sweet child of mine_

_Oh sweet love of mine_

_She's got eyes of the bluest skies_

_As if they thought of rain_

I'd hate to look into those eyes 

_And see an ounce of pain_

_Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place_

_Where as a child id lie_

_And pray for the thunder and the rain_

_To quietly pass me by_

_Whoa oh oh sweet child of mine_

Oh oh oh oh sweet love of mine 


End file.
